That Floating Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the third season started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's problems. The recipient of a very rare zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of tropes? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a sales catalogue. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.

Michael Arnold
Michael Arnold

Elena Visser is a seasoned hiker and outdoor blogger based in the Netherlands, sharing practical advice for nature lovers.